On Sunday, we put up the tree and decorated the house a bit for Christmas. I did fine until I started unwrapping ornaments for the tree. With the first box of ornaments, I started crying, realizing that we would never get to see clothespin reindeer or glittery pine cones, decorated and hand made with love by our twins. I would never get to buy them each an ornament for every year, so when they grew up they would have enough ornaments to decorate their own tree.
With the second box of ornaments, I found two that had been in our stockings last year - a pregnant bear for the mommy to be with my name, and a box of cigars for the father to be for Scott. I had completely forgotten about these, and needless to say this started another round of waterworks.
Somehow we managed to get the house as decorated as it is going to be this year, and I'm glad we did. It's sad knowing that there won't be gifts from Santa to the twins under the tree on Christmas morning. But, I am pregnant (and showing!), and this fact is helping me get through the holidays, knowing that I have two more precious babies to meet next April.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday
There is not a big enough sale in the world that would make me get out of my warm bed in the middle of the night - pregnant or not - to face the crazy crowds shopping on Black Friday! I will gladly shop online and pay for shipping in order to save my sanity. And after my experience at TJ Maxx on a Sunday a couple of weeks ago - all of my store shopping will be completed during the week too! Pregnancy hormones and crazy Christmas shoppers don't mix. :)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving
Happy Turkey Day everyone!
Even with all the tragedy that has struck our family this year, we still have a lot for which to be thankful. We are thankful for the few days we did get to spend with our twins, and the memories that we will cherish of them forever. And I am thankful for the many years that I did get to have with my sister, especially the last 4 years when we lived in the same city. Scott and I are both thankful for our strong relationship, because a weaker relationship could easily have broken with the stress of what we have endured over the past two years, but we are even stronger than before.
We are blessed with wonderful family and friends that have supported us through everything, and we wouldn't be where we are today without them. And finally, we are blessed with the two new lives growing inside of me, that we can't wait to meet - hopefully no sooner than mid-April!
Even with all the tragedy that has struck our family this year, we still have a lot for which to be thankful. We are thankful for the few days we did get to spend with our twins, and the memories that we will cherish of them forever. And I am thankful for the many years that I did get to have with my sister, especially the last 4 years when we lived in the same city. Scott and I are both thankful for our strong relationship, because a weaker relationship could easily have broken with the stress of what we have endured over the past two years, but we are even stronger than before.
We are blessed with wonderful family and friends that have supported us through everything, and we wouldn't be where we are today without them. And finally, we are blessed with the two new lives growing inside of me, that we can't wait to meet - hopefully no sooner than mid-April!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
VACATION!
Hooray for vacation time! I've been off since last Friday, and will be off until the Monday after Thanksgiving. Normally, we pack up the dog and go to Destin for a few days during this time. But, I'm on a travel restriction and we have a lot going on right now, so decided against the trip this year. A few days of relaxation and sunshine aren't worth something happening far away from home. Instead, I've actually started Christmas shopping, writing Christmas cards, and will probably decorate the house this weekend.
Went back to the OB today, and the babies are looking great, heart beats in the 140s. We could really see arms and legs moving everywhere, and the spine was very noticeable on each baby. Can't wait for the big anatomy scan, which still hasn't been scheduled but should be before Christmas. Stay tuned to find out the genders! :)
Went back to the OB today, and the babies are looking great, heart beats in the 140s. We could really see arms and legs moving everywhere, and the spine was very noticeable on each baby. Can't wait for the big anatomy scan, which still hasn't been scheduled but should be before Christmas. Stay tuned to find out the genders! :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Post Op Follow Up
Went in this morning for my cerclage post-op follow up. My cervix and cerclage are picture perfect - literally, the doctor took an ultrasound picture of it to use as a reference. :) It's great to know that the procedure was a success, but I know it's still not a guarantee that my cervix won't start funneling down the road. Since my problems didn't start until 23 weeks, and I'm only 14 weeks as of tomorrow, I know I've got awhile before I gain enough weight to start putting major pressure on my cervix. But for now, everything is going great!
As a bonus we also had an ultrasound and got to see those precious babies wriggling around. They are movers and shakers! Amniotic fluid amount was good, and there was fluid in the bladder and stomach, so it appears the digestive and urinary tracts are working properly. We didn't get to measure to see how much they've grown, but will at the next appointment on Dec 1st.
As a bonus we also had an ultrasound and got to see those precious babies wriggling around. They are movers and shakers! Amniotic fluid amount was good, and there was fluid in the bladder and stomach, so it appears the digestive and urinary tracts are working properly. We didn't get to measure to see how much they've grown, but will at the next appointment on Dec 1st.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Headstone
A few days ago, the cemetery called to let us know that our headstone was finally ready and had been put in place. So, on Friday morning, Scott and I got up and went to see it for the first time. I never would have thought that at 34 years old, I'd have my cemetery plot and headstone set, and definitely never expected to have buried my children before me.
It is a beautiful cemetery (if there is such a thing), and the plot is on a hill that overlooks St. X high school, where the twins would have gone, like their dad, uncles, and grandfather before them. Actually, I can't take credit for picking the spot - when the twins passed, my parents and in-laws were the ones that took care of all the funeral arrangements. Scott and I knew that we didn't want the twins to be buried by themselves, but at the time we didn't think we were ready to have our own plot. So, his parents bought their plot with a space for the twins, plus put a hold on another plot next to it. Luckily, his parents suspected that we may change our minds, which we did. So now we can be buried with the twins, and Scott's parents will be next to us.
The headstone is about 5 feet tall, made out of black granite. It's very simple, although I suspect that whomever purchases the plots behind us may not like its size! We're happy that it's in place before the holidays, so we can decorate, although sadly it's not the kind of decorating we thought we'd be doing this Christmas. It does make things a little easier to know that we are pregnant again - the thought of future children doesn't ease the pain of our loss, but does give us something to look forward to as we pass all of these milestones during the first year. The twins would be 8 months old tomorrow, and I can't help but think how different our lives would be now had they survived.
It is a beautiful cemetery (if there is such a thing), and the plot is on a hill that overlooks St. X high school, where the twins would have gone, like their dad, uncles, and grandfather before them. Actually, I can't take credit for picking the spot - when the twins passed, my parents and in-laws were the ones that took care of all the funeral arrangements. Scott and I knew that we didn't want the twins to be buried by themselves, but at the time we didn't think we were ready to have our own plot. So, his parents bought their plot with a space for the twins, plus put a hold on another plot next to it. Luckily, his parents suspected that we may change our minds, which we did. So now we can be buried with the twins, and Scott's parents will be next to us.
The headstone is about 5 feet tall, made out of black granite. It's very simple, although I suspect that whomever purchases the plots behind us may not like its size! We're happy that it's in place before the holidays, so we can decorate, although sadly it's not the kind of decorating we thought we'd be doing this Christmas. It does make things a little easier to know that we are pregnant again - the thought of future children doesn't ease the pain of our loss, but does give us something to look forward to as we pass all of these milestones during the first year. The twins would be 8 months old tomorrow, and I can't help but think how different our lives would be now had they survived.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Big "C"
Cerclage day was yesterday! What a LOOONNNGG day. Was at the hospital at 1030a for pre-op. That's the first time I'd had to stay in a hospital room since delivery, and I must say it didn't bring back good memories. The pre-op room was also very small with sliding glass doors, which reminded me of the room my sister was in during her fight with leukemia - again, not good memories. It must have been written all over my face, because everyone kept asking if I was OK. Beside the fact I had on no makeup, am Casper the Ghost pale, and would have paid money to sit anywhere else other than that room, I was fine. After a quick ultrasound to check that the babies were OK it was off to surgery.
Surgery time was 1230p, and everyone said I was the "perfect" patient - I guess because I'm not high maintenance! After my spinal block I had to wait about 5 minutes for it to take affect. I was numb from my waist down, but could still move my feet a little. Then, I laid down on the (very skinny) operating table and the doctors put my legs in stirrups. I could feel my left leg twitching and shaking, but I had no control over it - very weird! The placement of the cerclage only took about 10 minutes - the doctor ties the cervix shut with what they call a purse string. I could feel some tugging and pulling but no pain. I LOVE my high risk OB - she's very personable and an excellent doctor.
Off to recovery...I had to wait for the numbness to wear off so I could walk, and also use the bathroom, before they would allow me to leave. Finally at 430p they let me go home. So not only had I been at the hospital for 6 hours, it had been almost 17 hours since I had eaten! Dinner never tasted so good (BLTs and fruit)!
The usual restrictions are in place - no exercise, no heavy lifting - but other than taking it easy for a couple of days, I'm not technically on bed rest or anything right now. I feel completely fine, like nothing even happened yesterday. I feel much better that the cerclage is in place; I know it's not a magical cure but it is a safety net. Oh, and I'm 13 weeks pregnant today - officially in my 2nd trimester! So two milestones down in the last two days. As each day progresses it's hard not to get more and more excited about the two little ones growing inside of me!
Surgery time was 1230p, and everyone said I was the "perfect" patient - I guess because I'm not high maintenance! After my spinal block I had to wait about 5 minutes for it to take affect. I was numb from my waist down, but could still move my feet a little. Then, I laid down on the (very skinny) operating table and the doctors put my legs in stirrups. I could feel my left leg twitching and shaking, but I had no control over it - very weird! The placement of the cerclage only took about 10 minutes - the doctor ties the cervix shut with what they call a purse string. I could feel some tugging and pulling but no pain. I LOVE my high risk OB - she's very personable and an excellent doctor.
Off to recovery...I had to wait for the numbness to wear off so I could walk, and also use the bathroom, before they would allow me to leave. Finally at 430p they let me go home. So not only had I been at the hospital for 6 hours, it had been almost 17 hours since I had eaten! Dinner never tasted so good (BLTs and fruit)!
The usual restrictions are in place - no exercise, no heavy lifting - but other than taking it easy for a couple of days, I'm not technically on bed rest or anything right now. I feel completely fine, like nothing even happened yesterday. I feel much better that the cerclage is in place; I know it's not a magical cure but it is a safety net. Oh, and I'm 13 weeks pregnant today - officially in my 2nd trimester! So two milestones down in the last two days. As each day progresses it's hard not to get more and more excited about the two little ones growing inside of me!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Moving right along....
...11 weeks and 4 days today. Appointments went well last week; both babies measuring on target with great heart rates. The high risk doctor noted that they would not let me go past 38 weeks, which is May 5. Derby babies! :)
Cerclage is scheduled for next week - Nov 10th. My appointment isn't until 1230p and I can't eat after midnight the night before - that is just cruelty to a pregnant lady! The procedure only takes about 10 minutes, but with all the pre-op, ultrasound, and recovery I'll be at the hospital most of the day. I'm just glad it's scheduled so I can plan my time off for the remainder of the year!
Good news - the doctor approved a day out for Breeder's Cup this weekend! She noted the stipulations were no drinking and no cigars. I think I can handle that! Now I just have to find an outfit to fit this crazy body of mine - I'm not really into maternity clothes, but my regular clothes don't quite fit either. Early pregnancy shopping is awful!
Cerclage is scheduled for next week - Nov 10th. My appointment isn't until 1230p and I can't eat after midnight the night before - that is just cruelty to a pregnant lady! The procedure only takes about 10 minutes, but with all the pre-op, ultrasound, and recovery I'll be at the hospital most of the day. I'm just glad it's scheduled so I can plan my time off for the remainder of the year!
Good news - the doctor approved a day out for Breeder's Cup this weekend! She noted the stipulations were no drinking and no cigars. I think I can handle that! Now I just have to find an outfit to fit this crazy body of mine - I'm not really into maternity clothes, but my regular clothes don't quite fit either. Early pregnancy shopping is awful!
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